Day #1 Post-Surgery: TOUGH.
Kara had a rough day today dealing with challenges of nausea and pain management. Her big goal was to sit in a chair, and that proved to be a daunting task as well.
A big thank you for all the kind words and gestures...Please continue to pray for her to be able to rest comfortably, and for strength and healing overall. The title of her blog seems fitting for today's experience, so hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for Kara!
May God heal your body and soul.
May your pain cease,
May your strength increase,
May your fears be released,
May blessings, love, and joy surround you.
Amen.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
And breathe...
Hi all!
This is Kara's sister, Megan, reporting in. Kara's surgery went well today! We met her at the hospital in the dark this morning and monopolized various waiting rooms throughout the day. A nurse arrived to let us back to see her before it began, and someone said "all of us?" She looked wearily and said "Sure?" ...and then the caravan of 8 paraded behind. :) We gathered around her bedside, said a quick prayer and shared our hugs and happy thoughts... off she went.
The staff reported in a couple times during the long procedure, and the surgeon was pleased with the results. He was positive in talking with us afterward about the next few days, too. Pathology reports will hopefully be back on Friday and then the next course of action will develop from there. We are very grateful to all the staff at the hospital for being so kind throughout the process (and skilled during the surgery!) Plus, we know that Kara has a great caretaker around the clock in Matt!
Just want to take this opportunity to share how awesome I think she is...who else would think of everyone else on the eve of such a big day? Who would make sure that her nieces and nephews had their Halloween treats, that her Grandma received a fall bouquet, and that her family and friends were okay? Kara is a super hero- I'm so lucky to be her sister and proud to be her friend. Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers! We can all share a deep breath for today and look forward to helping her recover one day at a time now.
More soon-
Megan
This is Kara's sister, Megan, reporting in. Kara's surgery went well today! We met her at the hospital in the dark this morning and monopolized various waiting rooms throughout the day. A nurse arrived to let us back to see her before it began, and someone said "all of us?" She looked wearily and said "Sure?" ...and then the caravan of 8 paraded behind. :) We gathered around her bedside, said a quick prayer and shared our hugs and happy thoughts... off she went.
The staff reported in a couple times during the long procedure, and the surgeon was pleased with the results. He was positive in talking with us afterward about the next few days, too. Pathology reports will hopefully be back on Friday and then the next course of action will develop from there. We are very grateful to all the staff at the hospital for being so kind throughout the process (and skilled during the surgery!) Plus, we know that Kara has a great caretaker around the clock in Matt!
Just want to take this opportunity to share how awesome I think she is...who else would think of everyone else on the eve of such a big day? Who would make sure that her nieces and nephews had their Halloween treats, that her Grandma received a fall bouquet, and that her family and friends were okay? Kara is a super hero- I'm so lucky to be her sister and proud to be her friend. Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers! We can all share a deep breath for today and look forward to helping her recover one day at a time now.
More soon-
Megan
Monday, October 29, 2012
Tomorrow
It almost seems unreal that tomorrow is surgery day! When we settled on a date at the beginning of October it felt like so far away, a whole 3 weeks to think about having cancer.... But tonight it seems crazy that tomorrow is the day.
I stood in the aisle at Walgreens contemplating which flavor of mag citrate to partake it???Lemon or grape? Seriously, I think I should be choosing between Paulner vs. blue moon vs. Merlot:) but none the less, I am sipping the night away on lemon flavored laxative(thankful it isn't banana). Im getting my mind right, attempting to clear away the anxiety, and doing some last minute downloading of some tunes and packing:)
Tonight I have a long list of prayers.....I am praying for my surgeons to have steady hands, for anesthesia to be smooth, and for recovery not to be too terrible. I'm praying for Matt and his family as they celebrate his grandpa's life today in FL. I'm praying for my family- they truly are the most awesome people.... I know I'm totally biased, but they seriously are, trust me.
My sisters said they would write tomorrow to update, Matt volunteered, but his spelling is worse than mine:) thank you, thank you, thank you for all of the love, support, thoughts, and prayers. Tomorrow is step one to becoming cancer free.
"Of course you'll encounter trouble. But behold a God of power who can take any evil and turn it into a door of hope"- Catherine Marshall (taken from a devotional book that my sis Teresa gave me)
I stood in the aisle at Walgreens contemplating which flavor of mag citrate to partake it???Lemon or grape? Seriously, I think I should be choosing between Paulner vs. blue moon vs. Merlot:) but none the less, I am sipping the night away on lemon flavored laxative(thankful it isn't banana). Im getting my mind right, attempting to clear away the anxiety, and doing some last minute downloading of some tunes and packing:)
Tonight I have a long list of prayers.....I am praying for my surgeons to have steady hands, for anesthesia to be smooth, and for recovery not to be too terrible. I'm praying for Matt and his family as they celebrate his grandpa's life today in FL. I'm praying for my family- they truly are the most awesome people.... I know I'm totally biased, but they seriously are, trust me.
My sisters said they would write tomorrow to update, Matt volunteered, but his spelling is worse than mine:) thank you, thank you, thank you for all of the love, support, thoughts, and prayers. Tomorrow is step one to becoming cancer free.
"Of course you'll encounter trouble. But behold a God of power who can take any evil and turn it into a door of hope"- Catherine Marshall (taken from a devotional book that my sis Teresa gave me)
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Ready
Whewwwww....3 twelve hour shifts, cardio thoracic surgeon appointment, anesthesia preop, human resources paperwork, early voting, car tag and emissions done.....and a nap on the couch...sigh... Summing this up, I'm exhausted, but so ready; ready for Tuesday.
I'm eager to have this tumor removed, have the pathology reports, know the node involvement (fingers crossed NONE), and figure out the next couple of steps to ditching this cancer! I did the pre-op assessment yesterday morning and twice almost signed in the witness section of the consents... the patient, I am the patient, no longer the nurse. I keep trying to remember this... But I don't think you are ever not the nurse once you choose that as your profession. The cardio thoracic surgeon said I am good to go for surgery, watching the incredibly small spot on my lung and going to chat with the oncologist while I am in the hospital about possible need for chemo, etc.
I asked Megan if this is what it feels like to nest before having a baby....cleaned the whole house last night at 1 o'clock in the morning- scrubbing the shower and doing laundry with glares from the pups. Pretty sure they were trying to figure out what in the world is goin on:) I'm making piles of stuff to pack for the hospital, you know all the essentials, like my ipad, women's health magazine, and my tooth brush, ha....pretty positive I would rather be packing for Jamaica (Matt and I were suppose to leave tomorrow to celebrate our bdays) but know this birthday will be even more awesome if I am free of cancer. I might need an umbrella in my clear liquids:)
I am in awe of the support and love from my friends and family. I have received the sweetest cards from coworkers, packages of peanut butter and wine in the mail, thoughtful cards from my first friend and buddies from college, even a necklace with good luck vibes from a friend from work.....my parents church family is so kind, lifting us up and wrapping their arms around us. I am so thankful for all the prayers....
Today my Mom gave me a journal of quotes and verses that she started to gather...the very first one:
Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, loved more than you know....
Tonight I am ready. I am anxious, eager, and nervous all at the same time, but ready.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Grateful
These past two weeks have been full of doctor appointments, phone conferences, google researching, tears, smiles, prayers, questions, banana flavored contrast, labs, etc.... I have spent hours trying to figure this all out only to realize that webmd and google don't have all the answers. I met with the colorectal surgeon (early-thanks to some fabulous surgeons and coworkers that I work with!!) and discussed all the options. I was totally prepared to chat, to go over the colonoscopy report, to figure out our plan, not so much for a flexible sigmoidoscopy. Laying there with my knees tucked to my chin, I just closed my eyes and prayed- yet whatever it takes to figure this all out, I am game.
I had a ct scan of the chest, abdomen, and pelvis on Wednesday October 17th. Registering at the hospital that I work was awkward and strange. To look down at my wrist and see my name and birthdate on the ID bracelet just didnt seem right or fair, for that matter. The banana flavored milky, day old pudding consistency, contrast was over the top...Why do they always try and make things banana flavored??? I will vow to never eat a banana flavored Popsicle from this day forth:) An hour later I drank the citrus flavored contrast, because nothing could be as bad as the banana- or it so could be 50 times worse. I attempted to just pinch my nose and throw it back, for some reason it was so much easier to shoot drinks when I was at Locos in Carrollton or at Hepsie Willis while in college:)
I'm not going to lie, I pretty much stalked out my surgeons office on Thursday to get the results. I think I heard their voicemail at least 4 times that day and chatted with the receptionist twice....they probably cringe when they see my cell phone number come up on the caller ID. My labs were good... The CEA (a cancer antigen marker) was low, my liver is golden, and my blood count was actually normal (probably thanks to quitting my self crusade against meat, Anita). There is a small, 5mm spot on my left lung in the upper lobe. The radiologist says it is "questionable" considering my history of colorectal cancer. Wait history, this is totally present day, right this minute. The ct also showed a 4cm ascending aortic aneurysm... That's right, an aneurysm. I'm pretty sure I made the nurse say it like 3 times. Lets see, I don't smoke, my systolic bp usually runs around 115, no family history, I exercise, eat healthy (most of the time) so how do I have an aortic aneurysm???? Needless to say that finding got me another doctor appointment scheduled and more quality time with my iPad researching.
Surgery, an anterior resection, is scheduled for October 30th. Seeing that I have only had my tonsils and adenoids removed as an out patient procedure, I'm somewhat nervous. As an ICU nurse I see the bad side of abdominal surgeries, so I'm trying to knock that out of my head.
My parents are devastated, which breaks my heart. I told my mom on the phone the other night that I am spry and can kick this way faster than her or my dad could, so don't wish that it was them. I pray for their health always, but even more so lately because I know they are so worried- Dad if you are reading this, you need to sleep:) I am lucky to be their daughter. My sisters are awesome... I love their daily texts and calls, pictures of my nieces and nephews, emojis, and surprise "beef up packages" in the mail. And then there is Matt, he is my hand holder, forehead kisser, tear catcher, best friend. So tonight I am grateful; grateful for my fabulous family (including my crazy puppies Lilly Monster and Deebo) I am grateful for God surrounding me with such supportive and caring friends and coworkers. I found this quote the other night, it is totally fitting....you were given this life because you are strong enough to live it....
I had a ct scan of the chest, abdomen, and pelvis on Wednesday October 17th. Registering at the hospital that I work was awkward and strange. To look down at my wrist and see my name and birthdate on the ID bracelet just didnt seem right or fair, for that matter. The banana flavored milky, day old pudding consistency, contrast was over the top...Why do they always try and make things banana flavored??? I will vow to never eat a banana flavored Popsicle from this day forth:) An hour later I drank the citrus flavored contrast, because nothing could be as bad as the banana- or it so could be 50 times worse. I attempted to just pinch my nose and throw it back, for some reason it was so much easier to shoot drinks when I was at Locos in Carrollton or at Hepsie Willis while in college:)
I'm not going to lie, I pretty much stalked out my surgeons office on Thursday to get the results. I think I heard their voicemail at least 4 times that day and chatted with the receptionist twice....they probably cringe when they see my cell phone number come up on the caller ID. My labs were good... The CEA (a cancer antigen marker) was low, my liver is golden, and my blood count was actually normal (probably thanks to quitting my self crusade against meat, Anita). There is a small, 5mm spot on my left lung in the upper lobe. The radiologist says it is "questionable" considering my history of colorectal cancer. Wait history, this is totally present day, right this minute. The ct also showed a 4cm ascending aortic aneurysm... That's right, an aneurysm. I'm pretty sure I made the nurse say it like 3 times. Lets see, I don't smoke, my systolic bp usually runs around 115, no family history, I exercise, eat healthy (most of the time) so how do I have an aortic aneurysm???? Needless to say that finding got me another doctor appointment scheduled and more quality time with my iPad researching.
Surgery, an anterior resection, is scheduled for October 30th. Seeing that I have only had my tonsils and adenoids removed as an out patient procedure, I'm somewhat nervous. As an ICU nurse I see the bad side of abdominal surgeries, so I'm trying to knock that out of my head.
My parents are devastated, which breaks my heart. I told my mom on the phone the other night that I am spry and can kick this way faster than her or my dad could, so don't wish that it was them. I pray for their health always, but even more so lately because I know they are so worried- Dad if you are reading this, you need to sleep:) I am lucky to be their daughter. My sisters are awesome... I love their daily texts and calls, pictures of my nieces and nephews, emojis, and surprise "beef up packages" in the mail. And then there is Matt, he is my hand holder, forehead kisser, tear catcher, best friend. So tonight I am grateful; grateful for my fabulous family (including my crazy puppies Lilly Monster and Deebo) I am grateful for God surrounding me with such supportive and caring friends and coworkers. I found this quote the other night, it is totally fitting....you were given this life because you are strong enough to live it....
Friday, October 19, 2012
Disbelief
So, I'm totally new at this whole blogging thing... But I thought this would be a good way to not only update my friends and family, but to have an outlet to try and put in to words this whirlwind of a month and the months to come. And besides, we can use this for the nitty gritty that nobody wants to chat out loud about, well other than my RN buddies( we can talk about body fluids over lunch). I am so thankful for my awesome parents and sisters ( brothers in laws too), Matt- I cant imagine battling this without him, my wonderful friends, and supportive bosses and coworkers. I truly am thankful for this life that I was chosen to live and know that God wouldn't give me anything that I can't overcome or handle.... So I'm ready to press on!
A tad bit of background.... I went to my primary care physician for my annual physical in late August. I had some changes in bowel movements, but honestly thought it was no big deal, change in diet, or ulcerative colitis. My primary care doctor referred me to a gastroenterologist- who saw me in his office on a Wednesday and I had a colonoscopy that Friday.
The prep for the colonoscopy was by far worse than the actual scope... One, sedation is a good thing, two I will forever be more sensitive to my patients that are attempting to down that huge bottle of golytely:)
After the doctor said the word "tumor" I heard very little come out of his mouth, I know he was talking and his lips were moving, yet I couldn't hear anything. I remember grasping Matt's hand tighter, sobbing, shivering, and trying to figure out what exactly I was suppose to do next?
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