Ready

Whewwwww....3 twelve hour shifts, cardio thoracic surgeon appointment, anesthesia preop, human resources paperwork, early voting, car tag and emissions done.....and a nap on the couch...sigh... Summing this up, I'm exhausted, but so ready; ready for Tuesday.

I'm eager to have this tumor removed, have the pathology reports, know the node involvement (fingers crossed NONE),  and figure out the next couple of steps to ditching this cancer! I did the pre-op assessment yesterday morning and twice almost signed in the witness section of the consents... the patient, I am the patient, no longer the nurse.  I keep trying to remember this... But I don't think you are ever not the nurse once you choose that as your profession.  The cardio thoracic surgeon said I am good to go for surgery, watching the incredibly small spot on my lung and going to chat with the oncologist while I am in the hospital about possible need for chemo, etc. 

I asked Megan if this is what it feels like to nest before having a baby....cleaned the whole house last night at 1 o'clock in the morning- scrubbing the shower and doing laundry with glares from the pups. Pretty sure they were trying to figure out what in the world is goin on:) I'm making piles of stuff to pack for the hospital, you know all the essentials, like my ipad, women's health magazine, and my tooth brush, ha....pretty positive I would rather be packing for Jamaica (Matt and I were suppose to leave tomorrow to celebrate our bdays) but know this birthday will be even more awesome if I am free of cancer.  I might need an umbrella in my clear liquids:) 

I am in awe of the support and love from my friends and family.  I have received the sweetest cards from coworkers, packages of peanut butter and wine in the mail, thoughtful cards from my first friend and buddies from college, even a necklace with good luck vibes from a friend from work.....my parents church family is so kind, lifting us up and wrapping their arms around us.  I am so thankful for all the prayers....

Today my Mom gave me a journal of quotes and verses that she started to gather...the very first one:

Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, loved more than you know....

Tonight I am ready. I am anxious, eager, and nervous all at the same time, but ready.